My husband, Daniel, and I just bought our first house together, which means I’ve been thinking a lot about home lately.
When we started the adventure of scoping out open houses and looking at realtor.com and making our list of would-likes and must-haves, it felt rather daunting. We knew a house is just a bunch of lumber and drywall, but it seemed so much weightier than that. It felt like where we lived said something about our future, our hopes and dreams, our very identity. That’s a lot of pressure for a piece of real estate.
My friend Brooke told me about this quote she heard somewhere: “Our homes are characters in our stories” (more on that here). And my apologies for the terrible pun, but that sentiment really hit home for me. We weren’t just finding a place to put our stuff or go to sleep at night; we were finding a spot that would become a key part of our story for the next undetermined number of years.
If there’s anyone who knows about longing for home, it’s Brooke. Last summer she and her family packed up their essential belongings, rented out their house, and bought a mobile home so they could embark on a yearlong, 48-state tour of the country. Her home has been on wheels for the past year, meaning that in some ways her home is always with her, and in some ways she’s never home. She knows what it’s like to have roots and to tear them up, how freedom is the other side of loneliness, and how home is both the place and the people.
I think God hardwired us to long for home—to want to put pieces of ourselves into the soil of a place, to make memories there, to let the love and the laughter soak so deeply into the walls that they are heavy with moments and days and years.
But here’s something else I’m learning: our desire for an earthly home is never going to be enough to fill the longing in our souls. Even if we manage to find the perfect paint swatches, line the walls with just the right decorations, and fix all the leaky faucets, it won’t be enough. That longing for a haven, a place to truly belong—that only comes when we make ourselves at home in Christ.
I’ve always loved this psalm, but it makes more sense to me now:
Lord, through all the generations
you have been our home!
—Psalm 90:1
It seems appropriate that this psalm was written by Moses, the wanderer. The guy who grew up with a family not his own and in a country not his own, the guy who spent forty years exiled in the desert, the guy who led his people to a Promised Land he never got to enter. I have a hunch this nomad never really had a place to put his feet up and get comfortable in.
But still, he found home. He learned the lesson we all need, whether we’re putting down roots or pulling them up: When you make your dwelling in God, you will always find home.
***
You never know where you’re going if you’re going by faith. If you’re going by faith, you’re always a stranger in this world, because your home is God.
—John Ortberg
Question for today: What’s something you wished you’d known when you moved into a new home? What’s something you learned from moving to a new place?
In honor of my recent move, I’m giving away a copy of Home Is Where My People Are by the talented and charming Sophie Hudson! It’s a wonderful book about the unexpected places and people that make up home, and what God teaches us along the way. To be eligible, tell me about your moving experience in the comment section below. I’ll give a free copy to one randomly selected commenter.
Erin W. says
Welcome home, Stephanie! Beautifully said, too.
We’ve just bought a home in Lansing last month and I’m still floored at how God made it happen. We had been praying for a home of our own after renting for the last three years, and I’ll tell you: owning has given me the freedom to go all-in here in our new state. I feel we’ve, in a way, taken a vow of stability by signing our names on all those closing papers.
Stephanie says
Erin, I love that perspective of taking a vow when you purchase a home! Thanks for sharing. And welcome home to you!
Tracy says
LOVE this post – because I am SUCH a homebody, and I feel validated! We have been in our home for 18 years – even adding a second story to accommodate our growing family. We drove the neighborhoods we liked when we first started looking – during an election season – driving up to many homes thinking there was a realtor sign when really it was a candidate sign! We thought the house we eventually moved into was out of our league (my parents were sure to tell me so), however, on one of the many dreamy drive-bys, I had a vision of us washing our car in the driveway! Our realtor cut her commission to get us the house! 🙂
Stephanie says
What a wonderful story about how you and your house found each other! A home love story. 🙂
Brooke says
As we anticipate moving back into the house we first moved into 10 years ago after 408 days away, I am thankful for the familiarity of the people and places that were strangers a decade ago. As we have traveled and lived in 35 locations for a week or more, and experienced parts of local culture, the longing for roots, for deeper connections, for settledness has grown. There are still plenty of unknowns, but we are so excited to return to beloved characters in our story.
Stephanie says
Leaving on an adventure is exciting, but so it the return home. Happy homecoming!
Katie says
Hello! Brooke is a friend of mine too! We are in the process of deciding whether or not to move (and build!) and I’ve been thinking a lot about what home means too. We live in a great house right now and I am so grateful for it but I’ve been thinking about how we live and how a different home might be able help us live an even better version of our story.
Stephanie says
Thanks for stopping by, Katie! May God give you wisdom as you seek his plans for you.
Stacey Thureen says
Our recent move has helped me come to peace about the same things John Ortberg states.
Most recently, our move has shown me how the older I get I cringe at change. But change is necessary. Why? Because it forces me to depend less on myself and more on God.
Blessings to you and your new home! 🙂
Stephanie says
Hope you’re starting to feel settled in your new place, Stacey! Yes…change is hard but so stretching and good!
Diane Johnson says
When we moved into our home twenty two years ago, my husband wanted to name it ( “like the other great estates The Biltmore, Falling Water, Monticello”). I would just roll my eyes and say whatever. At that time, I just pictured the family we would raise and the related activities ( Christmases, Birthday Parties, Prom Pictures, summer BBQs, Family Dinners, Heart to Heart talks) that we would enjoy in the home. The name thing just wasn’t something I understood.
Fast forward to 2015, Our three children are almost grown and moving out of this still unnamed house. My dreams of wonderful family times have been fulfilled and as your post notes this house has been a significant character in most of those times. Your post today has finally made me is my husband’s point because every great character needs a fitting name. Our house needs a fitting name but what? Until we think of something better it will be known at HOME. However, I will be working on something less generic.
Stephanie says
What a great story, Diane! I love your list of memories at your home (whatever its name will be)!
Tracy says
Diane, we named our home when we built a second story addition! It was all my idea (not really, I know it was inspired by God!) and I am pretty sure my husband felt like you did… But I ran away with it! I had my best girlfriend make a calligraphy welcome sign, and a pastor friend did a dedication “ceremony.” We named it Glory House, using 2 Corinthians 3:18 as our reference, as all throughout the years of buying and building and growing we just wanted our home to be a place where God’s presence and power were manifest! I pray God inspires a fitting name that honors all your dreams for your home and the God who made them come true!
Judy Stueve says
My husband and I lived in 15 different places during our 57 years of marriage…We found the easiest way to get acquainted was to speak first to the people around you.. To invite people over.. To show up at activities around you, even if you don’t know anyone. You soon know many!!
Stephanie says
Wonderful advice, Judy! Congratulations on 57 years of marriage!
Jack sladkey says
how are family learned after the fact that your home when you buy it will be the place were all of your future memories will occur your children born friends your children make their future your future roommates and where you will store all of your things into you are forced to move into a retirement home when you will then have to decide how to distribute them to your family.
Stephanie says
PJ, you’ve done an amazing job making home wherever you are. Blessings to you!
Kathy Bostrom says
In December, we moved from the place we called home for the past 23 years, the place where our children grew up (and eventually moved away from), and the church family that had nurtured us through some of our darkest times. We left Illinois and settled in southern California, because our three children now live here. Being closer to our children is what makes this new place home. God has blessed us with a new church family, and they have welcomed us into their lives. I can see the Pacific ocean every day, and am learning to embrace all the beginnings. Every day, I count my blessings!
Stephanie says
What a brave move, Kathy! So glad you’re able to be close to your kids and that God is starting a wonderful new chapter for you.