Kelly Corrigan says in the prologue, “If you had asked me, after I graduated from college, whose voice I would hear in my head for the rest of my life, I’d have said some combination of my dad’s and my roommate Tracy’s and Jackson Browne’s. I would have continued with ten or twenty or two hundred others before I got to my mom.” But in her early twenties, Kelly traveled halfway around the world only to discover that she was more like her mother than she ever dreamed.
Discussion #1: Are You the Glitter or the Glue?
When Kelly was in high school, her mother summarized the difference between her and Kelly’s father with these words: “Your father’s the glitter but I’m the glue.” In other words, her dad might have been the more charming, fun parent, but her mom was the one who held everything together.
In your home growing up, did you have one parent who was the glitter and one who was the glue? In your home now, are you the glitter or the glue?
Discussion #2: Appreciating Your Mother
Kelly didn’t think she was much like her mother and didn’t understand her very well until she became a nanny and found herself quoting her mom and acting just like her as she cared for the children. After a long day full of meeting the needs of people who were dependent on her, she said: “Maybe the reason my mother was so exhausted all the time wasn’t because she was doing so much, but because she was feeling so much.”
Was there a pivotal season or moment in your life when you starting appreciating or understanding your mom in a new way?
Discussion #3: Leaving Home
It took going all the way to Australia for Kelly to discover that she was her mother’s daughter. As she cared for the Tanner children, she realized she was becoming “less smitten with world travelers and their ripping yarns, and more awed by people who have thrown themselves into the one gig that really matters: parenthood.”
Do you think the author would have had the same epiphanies if she’d stayed home? Have you ever had to leave home to find out who you really are?
Rating
I would give this book four stars. Kelly is a born storyteller, and she has a knack for recounting ordinary events in a compelling way. She delves into the complex relationships between mothers and daughters in an authentic, emotive way. I recommend it—whether you’re a daughter or a mother, or both.
How many stars would you give this book?
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I liked this book better than her first one. I would definately say that I was the glue and Kim the glitter. As for my parents I would say that my Mom was the glue and Dad the glitter too. With me and my Mom we were too much the worrier to have all the fun.
The relationship with my Mom changed greatly when I got married and lived in Chicago away from her. By the time I came back to my hometown we had become fast friends instead of mother and daughter. I think if we had lived in the same town all the time it may not have changed.
I think that so often we don’t see what is around us all of the time until they are removed or changed. Sometimes we need to just grow up and walk in someone else’s shoes for awhile.we often then see things differently.
It was s good choice to read. I agree she is a good storyteller. I would give it three and one half to four stars. Nancy
Thanks for your insights, Nancy! It has been really special for me to watch the friendship you and your mom have, even now.