For the past 14 years, I have chosen a word as my theme for the year. (Trust me, this is much better than a list of resolutions. For starters, there’s a much greater chance I’ll actually remember my goal for the year come March. And for a recovering perfectionist like me, this leaves a lot more room for grace. You can’t really fail a word, right?)
At any rate, my word is typically something with some meat to it—something I can study and read about and really dig into in the coming year. As 2017 came to a close, my husband cracked a joke and I quipped, “Maybe my goal for next year should be to laugh more.” Daniel looked at me, eyebrows raised, and it struck me that maybe this wasn’t just a joke.
What if my theme for the year really was to laugh more? At first glance, it sounded too easy, like I would be getting away with something. But as I thought about it more, it occurred to me that this isn’t as easy as it sounds. If I wanted to embrace a year of more laughter, it wasn’t going to happen automatically. I would have to be intentional about it.
I don’t know about you, but I find that so many reactions bubble to the surface before laughter. When something comes my way during any given typical day, I might worry, plan, stew, get a snack, or talk it over with a friend. But how often do I laugh?
Not long ago I went back to work after maternity leave, and I have found that this life stage leaves me with a lot of balls to juggle and plenty of opportunities to drop them. Only maybe balls isn’t the right metaphor, because the stakes feel a lot higher than that. Juggling torches, perhaps? At any rate, I feel like I have become pretty efficient and productive in this season of life—stashing meals in the freezer, working like a madwoman during naptime, squeezing the most out of every spare moment.
This is good . . . to some degree. But there’s a dark side to donning my super-efficiency cape, and that’s that I can become a version of myself that I don’t really like. I can check off all the things from my list but become a not-very-fun person in the process. Here’s the thing: I have been given so many beautiful, gracious gifts, and I don’t want to be so busy and productive that I don’t have time to enjoy them.
I want to be interruptible.
I want to have margin to waste time with the people I love.
I want have space to breathe, to savor, to be.
I want to laugh more.
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. . . . A time to cry and a time to laugh.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4
Are you in a season of laughter right now, or are you in a season of tears? And I wonder . . . is it possible for those seasons to coexist? What if we could laugh in the midst of a crying season, and cry in the midst of a laughing season?
In The Return of the King, the hobbit Sam has this lovely exchange with Gandalf, and it brings a lump to my throat every time:
“Is everything sad going to come untrue? What’s happened to the world?”
“A great Shadow has departed,” said Gandalf, and then he laughed and the sound was like music, or like water in a parched land; and as he listened the thought came to Sam that he had not heard laughter, the pure sound of merriment, for days upon days without count.
If you haven’t heard the sound of pure merriment for days upon days without count, I would love for you to join me in this quest toward more laughter—toward holy laughter.
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I can tell you already, I’m not going to be able to do this alone, so I would love your help. What has made you laugh recently? Are there books that make you laugh? Certain movies or shows that crack you up? Favorite jokes? If so, please share them!
Hey gal, love this! I want to laugh more, too. Craig and I recently watched Leap Year with Amy Adams. It is cute and ridiculous, but has a great kissing scene- you gotta watch it! I also want to kiss more in 2018! xoxo
I remember liking that one…I’ll have to check it out again! Love your goal for 2018! 😉
Thank you for this needed reminder that there is a time to laugh as well as mourn, Stephanie. I tend to take life far too seriously; tears come more easily than laughter. I learned recently that the Chinese characters for AARP mean “the joyful season,” and I am resolving in my later years to spend more time laughing. Thank you for this encouragement!
“The joyful season”–I love it!
This is fabulous, Stephanie. I too, have difficulty just laughing at a ridiculous situation instead of trying to fix it and mash it back into shape. Find a gardener snake in one of the boy’s baths, get shot with a Nerf Rival gun when I was trying to carry a hot cup of tea to my favorite chair, discover a perfect hole gouged out of the center of the bar of soap in the bathroom that “nobody” created. Yeah, I try to write these things down. Because it is really hard to laugh then, but later, later I can laugh. Perhaps that will give me the strength to laugh more as they occur as well. And now, now I have ten years worth of these blogs to look back on. Ten years of stories that show our little family. Stories that we won’t forget. Stories that make us laugh. So yes, I will join you in seeking to laugh more, Stephanie. I think my husband and 3 pesky sons would be grateful if more laughing could occur at the moment of the um … crime/attack/spill/snowball fight. Thank you!
Oh, and I have been told that these stories of parenting woe, joy, and misfortune have caused others to laugh. If you do give them a try, click back to the beginning, when my sons were 5, 3, and 1 as then you get the stories that will be more relevant to your own trials. You have yet to deal with a pesky 14 year old, which is what I’m writing about now. But it is coming, way too fast!
Here is one of the old ones.
http://www.kristenjoywilks.com/the-harrowingheartwarming-parent-moment-of-the-week-4/
Oh, fun! I will check them out.
Isn’t it crazy how things are funnier in retrospect? Good for you for recording all the laughs!
I love that you’ve recorded these stories…what a gift to your sons someday and to the rest of us!
I had pretty much stopped recording my oldest son’s stories as he was feeling embarrassed, but then we actually read them together for the first time and they laughed and laughed so hard. He asked me why there weren’t as many stories about him. So yeah, I’ve started keeping track of his stories again. It was one of the most delightful evenings of my life, to sit and laugh with them, over something that I had worked so hard to preserve.
IOVE this post, Stephanie! I’ll join you for sure!
The original Producers movie always cracks me up.
Same with Shallow Hal – something about Jack Black makes me smile as soon as i see him.
Even in the midst of sadness, my husband can usually do something to make me smile. I’m so grateful.
Thanks for the recommendations, Sharon! I love your laugh. 🙂
My sons, with their quirky personalities and unexpected comments, make me laugh. They are grown now, but since they were little they have brought wonder and merriment to my life.
As for movies, I could watch “It Started With Eve” once a month and find it hilarious each time, as if seeing it for the first time.
And here’s a jokethat came up as a memory on Facebook a few days ago. “i heard a new HIPA joke the other day,” my brother told me over dinner, “but I can’t tell you what it is.”
Ha! Love the joke. Thanks for your perspective, Ginger.