Announcing the Book of the Month for July

July 3, 2013

Announcing the Book of the Month for July

First of all, congratulations to Sarah for winning a free book for last month’s book discussion! You can read about our conversation about baby bath photos, soapboxes, and skeleton airing here.

And the book of the month for July is . . . . Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple.

Here’s the description from the jacket of her book:

Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she’s a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she’s a disgrace; to design mavens, she’s a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom.

Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette’s intensifying allergy to Seattle—and people in general—has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands. A trip to the end of the earth is problematic.

To find her mother, Bee compiles email messages, official documents, secret correspondence—creating a compulsively readable and touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter’s role in an absurd world.

Remember, there will be a FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY for one lucky commenter!

June 28, 2013

June Book Discussion: Carry On, Warrior

Thanks to everyone who participated in our virtual book club (which I introduced here). June’s selection was Carry on, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton.

Here’s how it works: I’ll throw out some discussion topics, and you can post your comments below—about these topics or other things you want to talk about.

Discussion #1: Authenticity
I really appreciated the author’s authentic voice—sharing the hard, real parts of life that we try to pretty up or hide from other people. Glennon’s honesty is a refreshing reminder that there is freedom in recognizing and admitting our brokenness. It’s obvious that she loves her children and finds joy in the sacred ground of motherhood, but she doesn’t pretend to have a Pinterest-perfect life. Plus, her honesty can be downright hilarious (case in point: when her daughter announced at the dentist’s office: “Mom, you smell like a bar!”).

Glennon’s insights in “Don’t Carpe Diem” are gold—especially for moms with young kids:

This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life when I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways, to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of profound gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.

I appreciate the insight she comes to about kairos time vs. chronos time—being able to savor each season without having to pretend that each moment of it is bliss.

Do you think Glennon overshared, or were you inspired by her vulnerability? Can you relate to her feelings about the pressure to “Carpe Diem”?

Discussion #2: Book vs. Blog
The jacket of the book admits up front that some of the content is taken from the author’s blog, momastery.com. But I was surprised to find how much it felt like a loosely compiled string of blogs. I often found myself disoriented in time when the order skipped around, and I kept searching for an overarching narrative arc. I would consider myself a casual reader of Glennon’s blog, and I was surprised how much content overlapped what I’ve already read from her.

Do you have different expectations for books versus blogs? Did you think the book held together with this structure?

Discussion #3: Truth-Telling
Glennon calls herself a “truth-teller,” and I think she achieves that goal. The upside of that is we get front-row seats to the work of redemption God has done and continues to do in her life. But as I read, it struck me that it’s one thing to decide to bare the skeletons in your own closet, but how much liberty does one have to raid the closets of her husband and kids? As much as I enjoyed these personal glimpses, I wondered what her children will think as they get older and the world knows about their business. (And what on earth did her husband think of her sharing that e-mail she sent him at work?!)

When it comes to sharing—whether in a blog, on social media, or in a book—how much do you think is okay to share about your kids/family/friends? Do you have any standards in place for yourself?

Rating: ★ ★ ★
I would give this book 3 stars for the enjoyable content but lazy structure.

How many stars would you give this book?

Once again, there will be a FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY for one lucky commenter!

June 4, 2013

Announcing the Book of the Month for June

First of all, congratulations to Nate for winning the free book for May’s book discussion! (You can check out our lively conversation about sociopaths and those who love them here.)

And the book of the month for June is . . . Carry on, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton. (You may have heard of Glennon through her blog: momastery.com.)

Here’s the description of Glennon’s book, taken from her website:

For years Glennon Doyle Melton built a wall between herself and others, hiding inside a bunker of secrets and shame. But one day everything changed: Glennon woke up to life, committing herself to living out loud and giving language to our universal (yet often secret) experiences. In Carry On, Warrior, Melton shares new stories and the best-loved material from Momastery.com. Her mistakes and triumphs demonstrate that love wins and that together we can do hard things.

Melton is a courageous truth-teller and hope-spreader, a wise and witty friend who emboldens us to believe in ourselves and reminds us that the journey is the reward. Carry On, Warrior proves that by shedding our weapons and armor, we can stop hiding, competing, striving for the mirage of perfection, and build better lives in our hearts, homes, and communities.

We’ll be discussing the book at the end of June (and again, there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter). Please join us!

May 31, 2013

Book of the Month Discussion: Gone Girl

Discussion #1: Unputdownable
The blurb on the inside flap of the book says it’s “unputdownable.” When I first read that description, I thought it sounded a bit presumptuous (not to mention that it’s a made-up word), but once I got about halfway in, I recanted my initial reaction. Because that’s precisely the word for it—I consistently stayed up way too late reading this book.

I was a little surprised I liked this book since suspense isn’t my typical genre and I didn’t like any of the characters. But the plot and pacing were killer (sorry, bad pun), and the author uncovered layer after layer of the story in such a gripping way that I couldn’t help but come back for more, gory-accident style.

Did Gone Girl reel you in? Would you read other books by this author?

Discussion #2: She Said
The author is masterful in the way she reveals Amy’s personality. I started out feeling sorry for Amy, and then as the novel unfolded, I marveled as the depth of her insanity was revealed. It was fascinating to get a glimpse into Amy’s mind, and although she is so far over the edge, I couldn’t help but think how in many ways she’s merely an extreme representation of our own neuroses.

What do you think made Amy the way she was? Was she born a sociopath, or did circumstances make her that way (e.g., the pressure from her parents and the world to always be “Amazing Amy”)?

Discussion #3: He Said
As we find out more about Amy’s devious, well-calculated plans, it becomes clear that she is certifiably nuts. (Seriously? She saved her own vomit?) But as the novel comes to a close, we discover that Nick may be just as crazy in his way. He chooses to live in the same house with her and sleep in the same bed, all the while knowing one false move on his part will have disastrous consequences.

In a way, it seems that Nick doesn’t know who he is without Amy:

Amy was toxic, yet I couldn’t imagine a world without her entirely. Who would I be with Amy just gone? There were no options that interested me anymore.” (p. 397)

Why do you think Nick stayed? And who was crazier: Amy or Nick?

Discussion #4: No Happy Ending
Not that I was expecting happily-ever-after for a book like this, but I have to admit that I was hoping for a little more justice…or at the very least, closure. I had a small moment of satisfaction when Nick wrote his book, but once again, Amy pulls a trump card when she announces she’s pregnant.

Nick has some moments where he’s about to crack and wants to kill her, but ultimately he decides that wouldn’t have been adequate. Here’s how he imagines justice for Amy:

Not kill her but stop her. Put her in one of her boxes.” (p. 397)

What did you think of the ending? How long do you think Nick and Amy’s tenuous arrangement (that he has to be the perfect husband) is going to work? In your mind, what would have been justice for Amy?

Discussion #5: The Author

After finishing the book, I had to wonder: what kind of person could write a book like this and capture these disturbed characters so convincingly? I read a little bit about Gillian Flynn on her author site, and she looks like a perfectly lovely, well-adjusted adult. She does admit, however, that she had a bit of a devious streak as a child:

I was not a nice little girl. My favorite summertime hobby was stunning ants and feeding them to spiders. My preferred indoor diversion was a game called Mean Aunt Rosie, in which I pretended to be a witchy caregiver and my cousins tried to escape me.”

Rating: ★ ★ ★
I would give this book three stars. It was dark and disturbing and some of the language was hard to take, but it was a compelling read. I recommend it for those who are not faint of heart! (And maybe don’t read it right before bedtime.)

How would you rate this book?

May 7, 2013

Book of the Month Club: Announcing the Selection for May

First of all, congratulations to Luann for winning the free book for April’s book discussion!

And the book of the month for May is…Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. (Thanks to brother-in-law Nate for the suggestion!)

Here’s the description of the book, taken from Gillian’s site:

Marriage can be a real killer. One of the most critically acclaimed suspense writers of our time, New York Times bestseller Gillian Flynn takes that statement to its darkest place in this unputdownable masterpiece about a marriage gone terribly, terribly wrong. As the Washington Post proclaimed, her work “draws you in and keeps you reading with the force of a pure but nasty addiction.” Gone Girl’s toxic mix of sharp-edged wit with deliciously chilling prose creates a nerve-fraying thriller that confounds you at every turn.

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick Dunne’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick Dunne isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but hearing from Amy through flashbacks in her diary reveal the perky perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—bit is he really a killer? As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister Margo at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn’t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was left in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?

Employing her trademark razor-sharp writing and assured psychological insight, Gillian Flynn delivers a fast-paced, devilishly dark, and ingeniously plotted thriller that confirms her stats as one of the hottest writers around.

{Remember: I’ll send a free book to one randomly selected commenter!}

May 3, 2013

April Book Discussion

Thanks to everyone who participated in our virtual book club for April (which I introduced here). April’s selection was The Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans.

I’ll throw out some discussion topics, and you can post your feedback in the comments section—about these topics or about other things you’d like to talk about.

Discussion #1: Nailing the Issues
In my estimation, this book’s greatest strength is that it hits on hot-button issues for Christian women and starts a much-needed conversation. As I flipped to the table of contents, I was struck by how many of the topics evoked visceral reactions in me (modesty, submission, purity, fertility). I don’t think I’m alone in this—these are charged issues for many women because some churches have a history of coming down hard and graceless in these areas. I appreciate that this book encourages us to be intentional as we contemplate what biblical womanhood really looks like—what’s culture, what’s tradition, and what’s truly biblical.

We dishonor the original intent and purpose of the Epistles when we assume they were written in a vacuum.” (p. 260)

Throughout these pages, Rachel extends an invitation to the Church to allow God to be creative in the way he gifts and equips women. She says that women can follow God in ways that look different for each person and encourages us to make use of our gifts, even the ones that aren’t traditionally seen as “feminine.”

The Bible does not present us with a single model for womanhood, and the notion that it contains a sort of one-size-fits-all formula for how to be a woman of faith is a myth.” (p. 295)

Are any of the topics addressed in this book hot-button issues for you? How do you feel the Church has handled these topics—both historically and now?

Discussion #2: Entertainment Value
I’m a sucker for books about people who sign up to make their everyday lives an experiment, so I enjoyed Rachel’s premise. I appreciated her sense of humor in her retelling of events—especially her Martha Stewart cooking adventures, her backyard camping trip, and her introduction to parenting with Baby Chip.

What did you think of Rachel’s experiment? Would you ever embark on a similar journey?

Discussion #3: A “Slap-Bang” Approach
Having read my share of A. J. Jacobs, I was hoping Rachel would really dive in and explore biblical womanhood. Some of her experiments felt gimmicky and halfhearted—something of a “slap-bang” approach, to borrow her mom’s phrase.

On a related note, I would have liked to see more nuanced arguments to engage a conservative perspective. I usually agreed with her nuggets of wisdom at the end of each chapter, but it felt like she set up straw men at the opposite extreme (polygamists, misogynists, the Amish) without exploring what a more balanced approach might look like. Her claims stemmed from a pragmatic starting point (what worked for her), not from a biblical standpoint. For example, this is where she lands in the submission chapter:

Life happened, and Dan and I quickly realized that we functioned best as a team of equal partners.” (p. 204)

It feels too easy to me to brush off parts of the Bible because they don’t “work.” After all, carrying your cross doesn’t seem like a particularly practical premise to build a religion on. How do you distinguish what scriptural teachings are unchanging standards and which ones are relevant only for a particular cultural context?

Discussion #4: The Highlight
My favorite chapter is the one on valor. Rachel offers authentic, credible insights into Proverbs 31 that I found freeing and life giving.

Eschet chayil [woman of valor] is at its core a blessing—one that was never meant to be earned, but to be given, unconditionally.” (p. 88)

See my post here for more thoughts on women of valor.

Did you have a favorite part of the book or something that particularly resonated with you?

Rating: ★ ★ ★
I commend Rachel for bringing these tough topics to the forefront of conversation among Christian women, and for that I say to her, “Eschet chayil!” Even so, I would have liked to see a more balanced, wholehearted approach. I would give this book 3 stars.

What rating would you give this book?

{Remember: I’ll send a free book to one randomly selected commenter!}

April 5, 2013

April Book of the Month Club

Congratulations to Jolyn, who won the free book giveaway for March!

And now, the book of the month for April…The Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans.

Here’s the description of the book from the author’s website:

Strong-willed and independent, Rachel Held Evans couldn’t sew a button on a blouse before she embarked on a radical life experiment—a year of biblical womanhood.

Intrigued by the traditionalist resurgence that led many of her friends to abandon their careers to assume traditional gender roles in the home, Evans decides to try it for herself, vowing to take all of the Bible’s instructions for women as literally as possible for a year. Pursuing a different virtue each month, Evans learns the hard way that her quest for biblical womanhood requires more than a “gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4).

It means growing out her hair, making her own clothes, covering her head, obeying her husband, rising before dawn, abstaining from gossip, remaining silent in church, and even camping out in the front yard during her period. With just the right mixture of humor and insight, compassion and incredulity, A Year of Biblical Womanhood is an exercise in scriptural exploration and spiritual contemplation.

What does God truly expect of women, and is there really a prescription for biblical womanhood? Come along with Evans as she looks for answers in the rich heritage of biblical heroines, models of grace, and all-around women of valor.

We’ll be discussing the book at the end of April (and again, there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter). Please join us!

April 2, 2013

March Book Club: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

Thanks for joining our discussion about The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender. I’ll throw out some topics for discussion, and you can put your comments about these or other topics in the comments section.

Discussion #1: Taste and Emotion
I was intrigued by the connection between taste and emotions. Although I don’t have Rose’s gift for tasting what people are feeling, I do think food can be tightly intertwined with emotion. When I bite into Mom’s cinnamon-swirl French toast, washed down with a sip of her coffee, I taste the nostalgic warmth of countless Sunday brunches around her kitchen table. When I taste my sister Meghan’s cooking, I find myself ready for adventure, my palette eagerly anticipating whatever concoction of spices she has woven into the recipe this time. The taste of a ripe raspberry inevitably transports me to Grandpa’s garden, and I can practically feel the hot desert sun on my back as the memories of childhood summers rush into my mouth.

What did you think about Rose’s odd talent? What foods evoke specific emotions for you?

Discussion #2: Wacky Family
Rose Edelstein’s family certainly has some dysfunctional relationships—and distinct quirks (a hospital-phobic father; a trapped, immature mother; a hermit-like, genius brother; and Rose herself, whose “special talent” for tasting feelings threatens to drive her to the brink. I read an article that compared the family to the Glass family in J. D. Salinger’s short stories, and that struck me as just about right.

Though not all the characters are necessarily likable, I found them empathetic and well written, not to mention deliciously quirky. What did you think of the characters? Did you have a favorite?

Discussion #3: Do You Buy It?
The story has some fantastical elements to it that ask readers to suspend belief. Rose’s odd talent is revealed early in the story; her brother Joseph’s talent is revealed fairly late in the book, although we are given clues throughout the story that something out of the ordinary is happening. For some reason I was ready to jump on board with Rose’s ability to taste feelings, but the author just didn’t get me to go along with Joseph’s chair-morphing abilities.

How about you? Did you find the characters’ fantastical elements believable? And on a related note, where do you think Joseph goes when he disappears? Does he actually become part of the furniture? Does he time travel? Is he suspended in some kind of spatial limbo?

Discussion #4: Fear of Giftedness
Rose viewed her special talent with alternating panic and annoyance; Joseph kept his odd ability a secret to the world; and their father was so paralyzed by his potential hospital-related gift that he avoided hospitals altogether. Perhaps these characters were worried other people wouldn’t understand, or perhaps they were simply afraid of their own powers. Although the book doesn’t offer much in the way of tidy resolutions, we get the idea that Rose’s moment of redemption comes when she is able to share her gift at the wine-tasting bar after years of keeping it locked away.

Do you (or people you know) keep your greatest talents a secret? What do you think accounts for our tendency to do that?

Discussion #5: Absentee Punctuation
I listened to this book on audio, so I didn’t know until a friend told me that there are no quotation marks used to indicate dialogue! I’m not sure this grammar nerd could have handled that for a whole book.

Did that bother you? Why do you think the author chose to go that route?

Rating: ★ ★ ★
I would give this book 3 stars. I found the premise intriguing, but the delivery turned out to be darker and more oddball than I prefer. Still, I’m glad I read it.

How many stars would you give the book?

{Reminder: I will give away a free book to one randomly selected commenter!}

March 6, 2013

Book of the Month Club: March

First of all, congratulations to Christy for winning the free book for February’s book discussion! (You can check out our conversation here.)

And the book of the month for March is…The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender.

I have to confess that I was drawn to the book for one reason: the rockstar title. (The slice of cake on the cover didn’t hurt either.)

Here’s the publisher’s description of this novel:

On the eve of her ninth birthday, unassuming Rose Edelstein bites into her mother’s homemade lemon-chocolate cake and discovers she has a magical gift: she can taste her mother’s emotions in the slice. To her horror, she finds that her cheerful mother tastes of despair. Soon, she’s privy to the secret knowledge that most families keep hidden: her father’s detachment, her mother’s transgression, her brother’s increasing retreat from the world. But there are some family secrets that even her cursed taste buds can’t discern.

We’ll be discussing the book at the end of March (and again, there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter). Please join us!

March 1, 2013

February Book of the Month Club: The Meaning of Marriage

Thanks to everyone who joined our book of the month club for February! Our selection was The Meaning of Marriage, which I introduced here.

Here’s how it works: I’ll bring up a few discussion topics, and I’d love to hear your reactions! You can put your thoughts about these topics (or others you’d like to talk about) in the comment section.

Discussion #1: The Purpose of Marriage
I found the Kellers’ perspective on marriage counter-cultural and refreshing. Marriage is not, they claim, about making us happy. It’s about making us more into the people God intended us to be.

What, then, is marriage for? It is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us. (page 120)

Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that.” (page 121)

What do you think the purpose of marriage is? In what ways have you seen marriage transform you or someone you know into your “future glory-self”?

Discussion #2: Marriage as a picture of the gospel
One of my favorite themes in the book is that marriage, at its core, is a reflection of the gospel. Taken from that perspective, the hardest seasons in a marriage become purposeful, and the good parts become infused with meaning.

When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. (page 95)

Marriage has the power of truth, the ability to reveal to you who you really are, with all your flaws. How wonderful that it also has the “power of love”—an unmatched power to affirm you and heal you of the deepest wounds and hurts of your life. (page 146)

To be truly known and truly loved—this is grace. How have you seen marriage as a picture of the gospel in your life or in the lives of those you know?

Discussion #3: Submission
I was pleasantly surprised to see that the book isn’t prescriptive about what submission should look like in individual marriages. I also appreciated that it rises above the usual skirmishes about surface-level submission and digs deeper into the theology behind it.

I especially resonated with the analogy of the marriage relationship as a reflection of the Trinity. Ideally, God intended marriage to be an invitation for “male and female…to mirror and reflect the ‘dance’ of the Trinity” (page 176). Put in that perspective, submission gets taken out of the context of power and put into the context of choice. Kathy puts it this way:

Jesus’s willing acceptance of this role was wholly voluntary, a gift to his Father. I discovered here that my submission in marriage was a gift I offered, not a duty coerced from me. (page 175)

What do you think of the idea that submission is a reflection of the interaction between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? What do you think the authors get right in their exploration of submission, and what would you take issue with?

Discussion #4: Singleness
I was glad to see that this book includes a chapter on singleness since it’s valuable for all of us to have a solid theology of marriage, whether we’re married or not. But I have to say I was disappointed that single people seemed to be categorically lumped into two camps: those who idolize marriage and those who are terrified of it.

I couldn’t help but feel for the healthy, well-balanced people I know who aren’t married but would like to be. They aren’t under the illusion that marriage will be perfect or will solve all their problems, nor are they running away from marriage. Certainly some people fall into those categories, but I found myself bristling on behalf of anyone who reads this and feels like their singleness is being pushed back on them as their own fault.

What do you think? Did this chapter present an accurate picture of singleness in our culture?

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Not including the chapter on singleness, I would give this book five stars. I appreciated that it is both theological and practical, that it casts a sweeping vision for marriage yet is still rooted in the real world. I’d recommend it to everyone I know who is married or is considering marriage.

How many stars would you give this book?

{Reminder: I will give away a free book to one randomly selected commenter!}