Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

Book Club Discussion: Scary Close

Scary closeThanks to everyone who participated in our book discussion about Scary Close this month! I’d love to hear your thoughts about this book.

My recap: Scary Close is one of the best books I’ve read about vulnerability and relationships and the special brand of courage it takes to let another person look inside your soul. I put it right next to Daring Greatly on the bookshelf of my brain.

Discussion #1: Vulnerability is hard

It’s mystifying and maddening how the one thing we want most (to know and be known) is also one of the scariest things we can do as human beings. Donald Miller says, “I hardly knew who I was myself, much less how to be fully known.”

Do you think you have to know yourself first to be known by others? Why or why not?

Discussion #2: Sorting out the truth about yourself

When Donald Miller is reflecting on his childhood, he says, “I realized in running and hiding I’d sided with the other kids, I’d learned to believe there was something wrong with me. And it wasn’t true.”

Are there any lies you’ve believed about yourself since you were a child that you’re coming to realize aren’t true? What has helped you see the truth?

Discussion #3: Real love

I appreciated watching Donald Miller come to understand what deep, lasting love looks like. It isn’t always glamorous or flashy—in fact, he calls it “that long, boring love that happens when a couple quietly eats cereal together while they read the paper.”

Do you think love is built mostly in small moments or big moments, or both?

Discussion #4: The upside of vulnerability

My favorite part of this book is the way it honestly describes the hard parts of vulnerability but also beautifully depicts the redemptive parts of sharing your true self with another person: “My flaws were the ways through which I would receive grace. We don’t think of our flaws as the glue that binds us to the people we love, but they are.”

Are there people in your life who see you as you are, flaws and all? How have these people given you glimpses of God’s grace?

Rating

I would give this book five stars (out of five). In my opinion, this is Donald Miller’s best and most honest book, and I’ve been forcing it on just about everyone I know.

How would you rate this book?

Remember: I’ll be giving away a free book to one lucky commenter! Respond by Friday to be eligible.

 

Announcing the Next Book Club: Scary Close

Scary closeThanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about All the Light We Cannot See! I loved hearing everyone’s insights and favorite parts. To jump in on our conversation about World War II books, life through the eyes of someone who’s blind, and finding light in the darkest of times, you can stop by here.

And now, congratulations to Elizabeth! You were randomly selected as a winner of a free book for this book discussion. (Elizabeth, I’ll send you a private message about getting your book.)

Our next book club will be about Scary Close by Donald Miller. Here’s the description of the book from the back cover:

New York Times bestselling memoirist Donald Miller takes readers on his year-long journey to learn to abandon performance-based relationships and find real intimacy.

After decades of failed relationships and painful drama, Donald Miller decided he’d had enough. Impressing people wasn’t helping him connect with anyone. He’d built a life of public isolation, yet he dreamed of meaningful relationships. So at forty years old he made a scary decision: to be himself no matter what it cost.

Scary Close is an audiobook about the risk involved in choosing to impress fewer people and connect with more, about the freedom that comes when we stop acting and start loving. It is a story about knocking down old walls to create a healthy mind, a strong family, and a satisfying career. And it all feels like a conversation with the best kind of friend: smart, funny, true, important.

We will be discussing the book in July. Hope you can join us!

 

Friday Favorites

For grammar geeks with a sweet tooth:
I couldn’t help but crack up about these cakes gone grammatically wrong: Cake Wrecks

cake1

For introverts (and those who love them):

Donald Miller shares these practical tips for living with and loving introverts: How to Get along with an Introvert

For word nerds:
If you are a word nerd like me, you will deliciate in these obsolete words. Let’s bring them back!
Obsolete Words That Should Make a Comeback

For anyone weary of the “perfect life syndrome”:
Shauna Niequist offers this insightful perspective about our tendency to compare our own real life with everyone else’s peak moments: Instagram’s Envy Effect

For anyone who knows someone who’s ill:
Here’s some practical advice about how to avoid sticking your foot in your mouth when someone you know is sick: How Not to Say the Wrong Thing