Did you know that sometimes people are actually saying “I love you,” even when like the words coming out of their mouths sound altogether different? It’s true. Case in point: Sometimes people try to form the word “love” and it comes out sounding like “donut.”
When I was a kid, we’d go to Washington State every summer to visit my grandparents. There were so many fun memories from those July days: picking raspberries in Grandpa’s garden, going waterskiing on the Columbia River, and playing endless games of shuffleboard in Grandma and Grandpa’s backyard.
But one of my favorite memories from those trips was waking up early to the heavenly smell of homemade donuts. Without fail, Grandma would get up before the crack of dawn so she could whip together the first batch. By the time everyone else woke up, the countertops were lined with doughy goodness: traditional circle donuts, donut holes, and donuts dusted with powdered sugar. By the time I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and ambled to the kitchen in all my pajamaed glory, Grandma had been on her feet for hours.
I’m not sure I could have articulated it then, but now I know that what she was saying with those donuts was “I love you.” If Gary Chapman ever adds a sixth love language to his classic book, I’m lobbying for it to be food. Because food is, without a doubt, the way Grandma communicates love.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to realize that love doesn’t have as narrow of a definition as I used to imagine. Maybe I’d watched one too many romantic comedies or Disney-fied fairy tales, but I used to have the notion that love was primarily a happily-ever-after sort of thing that’s found only on rare occasions. And I had the idea that if you loved someone, you probably had to make an eloquent speech about it.
But now I’m starting to realize that there is so much love all around, if only we can recognize it. And there are a lot of ways to express that love beyond the traditional “I love you.”
When your mom says, “Call me when you get home,” she’s really saying “I love you.”
When your dad says, “I can fix that for you,” he’s really saying “I love you.”
When your friend says, “Let’s get coffee,” she’s really saying “I love you.”
When God paints a sunrise for you just as you’re walking out the door, he’s really saying “I love you.”
And of course, when your grandma makes you donuts, she’s really saying “I love you.”
One of the greatest gifts of writing my memoir was getting to relive a chunk of my life and trace all the love that came in unexpected places. No, it didn’t come in the form of a husband and kids during that season of my life the way I’d planned. But even so, God was pouring out so much love onto me that it seeped out through every crack and crevice.
How often do we miss the love because it doesn’t come in the package we expect?
Today is National Donut Day, but I’d like to hereby proclaim it National Look-for-the-Love Day. So whatever form loves comes to you in today, whether via donuts or otherwise, I urge you to recognize it for what it is. Embrace the love, even when it comes in an unlikely package.
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So what’s your story? When has love come to you in an unexpected way or from an unexpected source?
Share the love . . .
If you share this post, you will be eligible to win TWO Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards—one for you and one to share with someone you love.
You had me at “donut.”
One of the many reasons we’re friends!
I am lucky to have a group of friends that sustain each other. One of the things that I receive from them that make me feel loved is their thoughfulness. When one of us is out and about , we always shoot out a group text asking each other what we need. If I am at the grocery store, “what do you guys need?” . At the post office, “who needs stamps?” . Driving by Starbucks, ” Who needs a mid day latte?”
Love comes in so many small things. Small things that make a whole. Never ever forget to do the small things in love. It makes such a difference in peoples lives. Oh, and doughnuts are my love language.
What a wonderful community, Liz! Thanks for inspiring me.
So good!
Thank you, Sarah!
Food is so a love language of mine too. Sadly I have never had the pleasure of eating a homemade donut! But I am very opinionated about donuts!
I have a soft spot in my heart for strawberry frosted donuts from DD because there was a shop down the street from my grandma’s house growing up. Every now and then when we visited, my dad would run down and get donuts (and munchkins!) on a Saturday morning. I’ve since become a bit of a donut snob, so I’m not a giant fan of DD’s donuts anymore, but I am addicted to their (butter pecan) iced coffee!
Now Shipley’s…THOSE are some donuts. I will also never turn down a fresh hot glazed Krispy Kreme. Their frosted donuts are WAY too sweet, but their plain glazed, when warm, are so fantastic.
Not that I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time in my life thinking about and eating and evaluating donuts… 😉
Mmm, I’m getting hungry reading your descriptions! I’ve never tried a Shipely’s donut before. I just checked online, and the closest one is in Alabama. Guess it’s time for a road trip!
Yes, it is a Southern chain. I only discovered them within the last couple of years. Alabama can’t be your closest, though–aren’t you in the Chicago area? We have several locations in middle TN. Worth a road trip for sure 😉 …especially in the late fall when their pumpkin spice donuts come back!
When my husband says “I’ll watch the kids, buy an ebook and flee for your life,” that is definitely I love you. My grandma served every meal on china and made cocoa with half-n-half and cinnamon toast that you baked in the oven! From my brother it was “Let me fix your brakes” and from my 3 sons it is “One more hug, Momma”, “Do you want to hold my new bug?” and “I bought you a big polka dot hair bow at the AWANA store…don’t you want to wear it to church?” I am well loved indeed and yes, I wore the hair bow to church, of course I did.
Oh, these are fabulous examples of love! Your hair bow story is a good reminder that while yes, it’s a gift when people show love, it’s also a gift to receive love well. Good words!
My in-laws put red and blue rubber bands on the bathrooms faucet handles so my four year old would definitely know which was hot/cold (the hot gets super hot). When we were visiting when she was a baby, they hung up a rope and provided me with clothes pins so we could hang dry our cloth diapers. Their thoughtfulness in the little details speaks “I love you” to me.
P.S. I brought your book for my MIL to read – she’s enjoying it!
Oh, such thoughtful in-laws! I’m so glad your MIL is enjoying the book too. 🙂